So this Blog is more like a public online diary to me than anything. So here goes: I've been seeing female specialist for years and having ultrasounds every three months. I have a condition that can cause infertility, but the Doctor's won't know anything till I start trying to conceive. Well I'm not ready for that yet because I'm not married and my dad would kill me. Daniel and I have talked about this. I'm scared, I'm almost 25 and I don't want to be trying to have kids after I'm 30. I know that we can adopt, but the older I get the less excited I get about the idea of having kids. So Starbuck and Panga really are my kids. I want to get 2 more IG's in the next couple of years, but if we do end up having kids do I really want 4 dogs running around too? will I neglect them? neglect my baby? We try to talk about it and then finance comes up and how will we pay if i quite my job, etc. It's so frustrating! we just stop talking about it because we dont know the answers. I had some blood tests done that came back with some weird results, so I get to go "discuss" it with the Dr. in March. I'm begining to think that I just don't need kids.... i'm happy without them now right? But I know that Daniel wants children and I do love them so. I just needed to rant and rave and smash my keyboard for a bit =) oh, and there's that small little issue that I'm not even engaged yet! hehehehe!