As the days grow shorter
Sadly, his time is coming to an end. My heart is so heavy, but his pain is growing and his breath is shallow. I know the love of my family carried him so far, but it can only do so much.
Today I looked around our "dog" room and saw the pictures of each rescue that came through our home. (On their adoption day we hang an 8X10 on the wall in their honor with the date and their name.) I now have a wall full of faces to look at dogs that I feel I have helped in one way or another. Some don't spin anymore, others are no longer aggressive, some found the perfect home to help with counter surfing, some were nursed back to health, put on weight, lost weight, made happy adoptable dogs.
But Pneumie, sweet Pneumie, I can't help. I am so troubled by this, so profoundly hurt. All the others that I sent on their way, repaired and good to go, but my own baby, I left adopted knowing there was nothing I could do but watch him die.
He is getting aggressive with the other dogs, Kevin and my daughter. His pain is growing in ways I can not understand. I have to understand and be kind to him although I know this will shatter my soul.
I read that to love someone you have to risk the pain of losing them too, here I am at the edge. I would rather feel the pain than him.
I am going to call Dr. Pete in the morning to make a plan for Pneumie. He deserves peace, not pain, breath, not struggles. I would love for him to have fur again to to be able to run and feel a breeze on his back though that fur.
Geeze, it just makes me so sad.