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As the days grow shorter

Posted by letumrun, 12 July 2009 · 511 views

This site has given me so much time to reflect on all that life brings about. My last blog entry was about Pneumies birthday. We never actually thought he would make it the day we adopted him. Despite all odds, and ant medical reason, he made his birthday and in to the month of July.
Sadly, his time is coming to an end. My heart is so heavy, but his pain is growing and his breath is shallow. I know the love of my family carried him so far, but it can only do so much.
Today I looked around our "dog" room and saw the pictures of each rescue that came through our home. (On their adoption day we hang an 8X10 on the wall in their honor with the date and their name.) I now have a wall full of faces to look at dogs that I feel I have helped in one way or another. Some don't spin anymore, others are no longer aggressive, some found the perfect home to help with counter surfing, some were nursed back to health, put on weight, lost weight, made happy adoptable dogs.
But Pneumie, sweet Pneumie, I can't help. I am so troubled by this, so profoundly hurt. All the others that I sent on their way, repaired and good to go, but my own baby, I left adopted knowing there was nothing I could do but watch him die.
He is getting aggressive with the other dogs, Kevin and my daughter. His pain is growing in ways I can not understand. I have to understand and be kind to him although I know this will shatter my soul.
I read that to love someone you have to risk the pain of losing them too, here I am at the edge. I would rather feel the pain than him.
I am going to call Dr. Pete in the morning to make a plan for Pneumie. He deserves peace, not pain, breath, not struggles. I would love for him to have fur again to to be able to run and feel a breeze on his back though that fur.
Geeze, it just makes me so sad.

He deserves peace, not pain, breath, not struggles. I would love for him to have fur again to to be able to run and feel a breeze on his back though that fur.

He will have peace free of pain and be fully healed. You will be the angel to walk him to the edge of the bridge. I know it isn't fair and will hurt. I don't envy your difficult task, but it sounds like you know it is time to free him from his painful earthly body.

We will be thinking of you. Run free Pneumie!
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I'm so sorry, Meghan. I know what you are going through. The last 3 weeks of Star's 15 year life, I kept calling my Vet asking "when will I know...how do I make the right decision..I love this dog so much, but don't want to be selfish and think of myself". The day came when I "knew"...the time came in the middle of the night, as I watched as Star's light started to fade. It still makes me cry thinking of that last day. I took her to the Vet in the morning, all wrapped up in her favorite blanket (my bath robe). She mustered up enough strength to give me a kiss as I put my face down to hers, looking into each others eyes. I wanted me to be the last thing she saw. You gave Pneumie all the love he will need for his next adventure. My thoughts and prays will be with you, Pneumie, and your family tomorrow.
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As will I Meg, be praying for a quick painless passing and peace for you. You've done him right.
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