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Numb but the tears don't stop

Posted by letumrun, 16 November 2008 · 427 views

My fathers death is so new, but we HAVE to keep moving on. My daughters 5th birthday was Friday and her birthday party with all her classmates was yesterday. Paste on a smile and muddle through. Its a good thing I am numb to things I suppose. I hardly remember the funeral, just hundreds of people standing in line for hours to pay their respects to myself, my brothers and my mom. Fo the two days of visitation, we had hundreds of people pass thorugh the funeral home telling me how great my dad was. I just want him here, happy and healthy, celebrating my daughters birthday with us. This is all a bad dream, I have never been so exausted, sorrow filled and dazed at the same time.

I know there is some line about time healing all wounds, right now it seems like a lot of BS.

Meg, it's been 42 years since my Dad passed away when I was 15. Tears can still flow if I let them. It's wonderful that you have all the memories stored up and that your child was able to know him for awhile. I pray that as days pass, you can reconcile all this in some fashion and continue on. You have so much more on your journey yet to experience.
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